smacked with opportunities
but tied down with my own stupidity,
flustered with my naivety
thinking that i could have grabbed the golden chances
if i just worked hard enough.
it’s hard to be enough.
i wished i was stronger,
wished i could have managed my commitments better,
wished i could have taken stress with a better hand,
i let it control me,
screw me up.
and now, i find it hard to gather my mess and build something out of it.
stuck in a cycle of blankness,
but i have to
i have to fix myself, fix things.
i need a break, just for today.