growing up

When I just only take my baby steps,
you held my hand,
and led me in a direction.
My eyes shone bright,
because I only recently seen light.
I am sweating with euphoria,
ignorant to your intentions,
of making me earthbound.

When I just only managed to move my limbs,
you registered my name,
to classes.
I was exhilarated,
never having once felt such fast pacing of the heart,
as it pumps blood through my body,
making it red-
I realised in my reflection.

The system I grew too comfortable with,
blinded by what seems ‘good for me’,
as I become slave to your expectations,
that line my path of existence.

The words of protests,
that climbed up my throat,
often held back by the tug of my heart,
so it escapes,
soundless- a silent compliance.

Always teetering between what I needed to do,
with what I wanted to do.
The burden of conflict,
blurred the lines,
between lazy and dispassionate.

They praised me a ‘hard worker’,
I do not know if they meant
‘submissive’.

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