Into The Second Closet: Christian Parents With Gay Children

john pavlovitz


A funny thing happens when you’re a Christian pastor, and gay Christian students or their Christian parents find out that you aren’t going to treat them the way Christian pastors have normally treated them: They start talking.

They reach out to you.
They confide in you.
They cry to you.

Over the past 18 years, I’ve come to hear scores of stories of these families, and of their horrific years spent living in The Second Closet.

You see, when students are both gay and Christian, (and yes, you can be both), they live knowing that they have to hide everything, all the time. They become experts at concealing attraction, at hiding visual cues, at steering conversations away from potentially awkward moments, especially in the Church.

It isn’t like they haven’t been warned.

They’ve sat through the worship services, and have heard all the sermons, and know all the Scripture passages, and they’ve…

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